Growing up as a stepchild, I felt different and unloved. I was provided for, but I felt like an outsider. I was isolated in my father’s house and never quite felt like I was a part of my family unit. Being different from my sisters was a constant reminder that I did not belong in my family.
My home did not feel like home; I hated it. I wanted my stepmother to love me like her own. I was seeking her attention and her love, and the most painful thing was, I could not talk to anyone about what I was going through. It was hell growing up in a family in which I felt like I did not belong. I was craving for love and acceptance; I wanted to feel a sense of belonging. The day my stepmother rejected me, she told me I am not her child. That was the saddest day of my life and it was the day I felt banished from my family.
I was filled with disappointment and anger, and that made me despise my birthmother. I was overpowered by hate that I even wished death upon her. I was filled with anger, bitterness, and resentment. I disliked my family home and all I wanted to do was to leave. I wanted to run away before my GCSE’s. As I was planning to run away, I heard a voice saying to me “If you run away, they will win”; because of that, I stayed until I left for university. I moved to a different city and thought that a fresh start would make everything better. However, when I left, those feelings trailed me; they became part of me. I felt sad and alone and that made me resent the idea of being a stepmother or going into a family that I did not start. I did not want to get married nor have children as I was scarred from my past.
All of this changed when I gave my life to Christ and I allowed Jesus to be the Lord of my life. The word of God started to change my life slowly. Bit by bit God started to chip away of the hurt from my past that I was holding on to. I started to develop an intimate relationship with God which allowed me to become a better person without limitations.
The Holy Spirit brought changes and healing in my life and it has been a revolutionary change. I want others to know the love and peace I have found in Christ Jesus. Without Jesus Christ, I would not have been able to forgive the ones who hurt me. Christ Jesus replenished my heart and made it new and now I live in my new identity. I am a work in progress, but I thank the Lord for the transformation.
The Lord God has made me new, as I am allowing the power of God to work in and through me. I am growing to be more like Christ and less of me. I now have a healthy relationship with my dad, mum (step-mum) and my birthmother. I appreciate my step-mum and I value my mother because without her I would not be here. I now embrace my identify as a stepchild and I no longer see myself as unwanted or less of a human being. I no longer question my existence or wonder why my dad chose to have me with my mother.
My Identity is rooted in Christ Jesus. I know the Lord loves me and I am not an accident. The Lord planned my being, and He knew me before I was conceived. I give God the glory. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17). I am a new creation in Christ Jesus. He is the one transforming me and strengthening me.
It is only Christ Jesus that can take away the pain, anger, bitterness, resentment, sorrow and hate that we harbour. The void within you cannot be filled by power, money, alcohol, sexual immorality, or drugs. Only Jesus Christ can fill that emptiness. The Lord said, “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Do not let your circumstances or your experiences define your existence. You are a child of the King of kings and the Lord of lords, and your existence was planned and ordained by the Almighty God, through Jesus Christ!